Being Your Kids’ P.A.R.A. (Part 5)
The previous blogs were hot off the press, some not even posted, when I had an I-want-to-pull-my-hair-out incident with Ian, our middle schooler. After the big pep talk of how close he was to getting all As and Bs with 14 school days remaining , the self-sabotaging increased rather than decreased. He “forgot” to turn in papers he had completed. He left materials at home. He half-ass studied for quizzes.
Watching the free-fall, my husband hypothesized that Ian did not want to distance himself too much academically from a couple of his friends who were struggling in school. The social pull to stay connected over-rode any punishment we could give him or any praise or self-satisfaction he could get from doing his best.
I could not understand it.
And we were pretty impotent against the psychological pull in the wrong direction.
Prayer should always be our first weapon. Admittedly, I had been in high action mode, not depending much on help from above. But Ian’s irrational and self-destructive approach to his education brought me to my knees. What do you do when you’ve taken everything from them and tried to give them every support possible to no avail?
You turn it over to the one who has all power. The best P.A.R.A.s understand their limitations. Mary didn’t change the water to wine. But she knew who could and would. So we put our Ian with his self-limiting beliefs and reluctance to use the gifts God gave him to be his best into God’s hands. And my husband and I took a few steps back, waiting for instructions from an all-knowing and all-loving God.
The Catholic Women’s Guide to Healthy Relationships Tip: Surrendering in our relationships after doing everything in our power to make it better is not a failure; it’s the foundation of our humility.