Sandbagging It

 In Marriage

My husband and I were in a particularly good space when we attended the family Wichita Bar Association event at the Sedgwick County Zoo. My spouse Joe was commenting on how little he had networked or given much attention to business growth in the course of his 28-year legal career, and how he felt that was beginning to change.

Then he relayed a story about being on the high school bowling team. He admitted he intentionally bowled poorly throughout the regular season. This qualified him for a large handicap during the tournament. In the tournament, he would perform at 100% plus and easily knock out his competition.


He called it sandbagging.

I had never heard of the term. I could not relate to operating like that. I was a little surprised he would share something like this with me. But, I was grateful he felt safe enough to do it. Then I started to have several recollections of being personally “sandbagged” on a variety of issues during our nearly 20-year marriage. My spouse’s claim that he was unable to learn how to wash the dishes or put them in the dishwasher in a coherent way comes to mind.

I was struck with God’s sense of humor.

I could be a little bit more shrewd about how I get things accomplished rather than work myself to death while my spouse has gotten the joy of being married to the Catholic female version of a high-energy Brian Tracy, Anthony Robbins, you-name-it-motivational-person who constantly challenges him to reach higher level of achievements than he probably would otherwise.

That’s the beauty of marriage. When done right, it ends up making both spouses better over time.

Catholic Women’s Guide to Healthy Relationships Tip: Take a moment to appreciate the complementary characteristics of your spouse.

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