Last week, I interviewed Louis Hughes, CEO of Portalais, a company that provides high-end architectural elements for luxury homes. Because all of the items he sells can be provided by other firms, excellent customer service hallmarks his competitive advantage.

His description of who an ideal client is struck a cord.  

Louis said an ideal client for his company is someone who values what they bring to the table.

Isn’t that what we want? To be valued in all of our relationships–whether business or personal?

Here are the 3 steps on how to surround yourself with those who value you:

1. Step One – VALUE YOURSELF
   

   You value yourself when you understand what ROI you give your clients. Other signs you value yourself include charging a price that is commensurate with your value.  Personally and professionally, you understand your strengths and the gift you are to those you are in a relationship with. You show your value by having clear boundaries and standards of who you allow in your space. You are more and more at ease with being visible and assertive in putting yourself out there with humility.

2. Step Two- RECOGNIZE THE SIGNS WHEN PEOPLE DON’T VALUE YOU
   

   People who feel you are too expensive are telling you they don’t feel what you offer is worth the price. Also, people not honoring the fee terms show they don’t value you. A pattern of changing or rescheduling or not showing up for appointments communicates not respecting your time, i.e. not valuing you. Lack of courtesy in terms of returning phone calls, being evasive, closed,  or indirect about what they do and do not want to create energy leaks in your business and life and demonstrate not valuing you. I would encourage you not to take any of these things personally. Often, these behaviors are more about the person doing them and not about you. They don’t value themselves, and they treat you similarly to the way they treat themselves. There have been times in my life when I have done several of these things to others, and it was not because I didn’t value them. The behaviors represented symptoms of other problems like overwhelm, not saying “no” in other parts of my life, etc. The key is to recognize behaviors that you experience as devaluing. Trust your intuition and how your body feels. It isn’t important the motivation behind the person engaging in those behaviors.

3. Step Three:  ESTABLISH STANDARDS AND LET WHAT HAPPENS, HAPPENS
   

   Often people don’t recognize our worth because we are sending mixed signals. Be clear on what you need and expect from others and communicate that with love. Respect the other person’s free choice. Don’t force things. When you let go of a person in business or life who can’t or won’t value you, you make space for someone else who will.

By appreciating and living in alignment with the value you have, you give others the opportunity to raise their vibration along with you. Your modeling challenges them to value themselves more.

Christian Entrepreneur’s Biz and Life Tip: If a relationship or arrangement feels uncomfortable, figure out if there is a values issue, decide what to do, and take prompt action.