3 Truths to Offset the Lie of Putting Your Life on Hold for Success
I’ve talked with several individuals who have received advice from coaches, mentors, bosses, etc. to give their careers everything they’ve got for a couple of years with the promise of reaching an “easy street of abundance” after that.
This feeds into what I believe to be the “lie of putting your life on hold for success”.
Here are three truths that send that lie to the curb.
TRUTH #1: Change must be sustainable
While there are some individuals who can go great guns in their professional lives with little attention towards the aspects of their human experience, most people can’t. A one-dimensional, super intense approach to work delivers similar results to crash dieting.
The person may have initial positive results (or initial weight loss), but typically will run out of steam and eventually backslide.
The people I’ve seen pull this off in the short term usually are driven more by a character defect or shame element. Some are trying to prove themselves worthy. Others want to show off to their peers or people in their past. Others want the validation of flashy homes, cars, trips, and wardrobes so the world will know they’ve made it. They may even be trying to gain approval from a parent – dead or alive.
Most people attempting to follow this advice end up building a house of cards. It really doesn’t take much for everything to crumble once the gas in their tank gets down to zero.
TRUTH #2: You attract what you are being
The way you are living shapes who you are being.
When you are being a driven, hyper success-focused individual that may give lip service to valuing health, relationships, or spirituality, but aren’t’ living congruently with that, you tend to attract other people to you like that.
If you are putting intense pressure on yourself to achieve the clients, colleagues, or partners you are attracting to your organization, tend to be demanding, stressful to be around, and unforgiving of any mistakes or life events that may interrupt your work focus.
If you don’t mind difficult clients or work companions, then this approach won’t bother you.
Pleasant, authentic, understanding people tend to be more enjoyable to be around. But they won’t be crossing your path if that doesn’t describe how you are showing up during your high-intensity career-building phase.
TRUTH #3: Love requires constancy
Relationships with kids, friends, spouses, and other human beings require regular attention and care.
Choosing to tune out for a year or two on the people of your life while you are focusing on your business comes with costs. In one year your kids can move to a completely different developmental stage.
People adapt and get used to life without you. Healthy people want to be with people who value them and give them positive attention. Life outside of you doesn’t just stay stagnant, while you are building an empire. Some of the damage done by your neglect to your health, your faith, and those you love might not be repairable.
Typically, the people who gave you that stellar advice to put everything into your business or career are long gone when you end up having to face the consequences of taking that approach.
We are really talking about the Tortoise and the Hare here. I advocate the Tortoise approach with my clients. Not only will you enjoy the journey way more, but you won’t be sacrificing the areas of your life that give you the greatest satisfaction, joy, happiness, and peace. And I think you will find in the end the tortoise results trump those of the hare.
If you are tortoise-inclined and want to love your life and biz while you are developing it rather than at some later date, come chat with me.
Jump on my calendar at http://talkwithchristina.com for a Manifesting Your Vision session.
I can help you figure out what is most important and provide several tortoise-inspired strategies on how best to get there.