It was obvious Dave Ramsey has been delivering “financial peace” to individuals and couples for decades. Within 20 minutes of his first or second video he pulled the bow of his arrow and hit the target of the challenges of couples working together on money.
Ramsey said most couples consist of a “nerd” and a “free spirit”. I’m a proud “nerd”, although a tired one. The “nerd” has multiple spreadsheets of income and expenditures and chases— sometimes beating his or her partner with the budget club at varying intervals. Nerds are not necessarily tight wads, but rather like control. On the other hand, the “free-spirit”, my husband, is the spouse who half-heartedly comply or sometimes refuses to participate in the budgeting process—at times doing everything to sabotage efforts toward an improved financial picture.
Then Dave said the “free-spirit” and the “nerd” need each other.
I thought Dave Ramsey was employing some psychological technique. He must have been skillfully patronizing the “free-spirit” to make him not feel so bad. Everyone knows the “free-spirit” is at fault for all of the financial problems in the family.
Dave’s words, marinating in his humor, defrost my heart. Awareness of the good things Joe has contributed to our marriage and financial life arose like the beginnings of a sunrise.
With my family background of working hard, few to none vacations and limited entertainment and recreation, my spouse opened a new world of wonder and fun—and at times irresponsibility. Coming from three generations of entrepreneurs, my husband understands you have to spend money to make money. Now try to explain that to an accounting type when you are trying to build your business.
Little by little I imagine what my life could have been if I would have married another nerd. I started to see that Joe and I both have positive things to contribute to improve our financial health.
With the blame moved aside and my heart warmed, Dave Ramsey’s words had rekindled my nerdy affection for my free-spirit.
The Catholic Women’s Guide to Healthy Relationships Tip: Interject new information to get unstuck.